Having clear boundaries leads to safe and healthy relationships. These boundaries create a safe space for you when inviting people in with restrictions. Make clear what your boundaries are as people need to know what to expect. You do not have to explain your boundaries, but they must be announced.
Often people associate walls as being boundaries but there is a distinction between the two. Walls keep intruders out and boundaries invite people in. Just because you have boundaries does not mean people will honor them. That is why it is important to have consequences when someone violates the boundary. Red flags, feeling anxious and anxiety are signs of broken boundaries. Problems will continue if there are no consequences, without consequences, boundaries are meaningless.
There are 5 types of boundaries, 1. Personal (physical, space, body, time), 2. Mental (mind and thinking), 3. Emotional (feelings) own your feelings, support others but allow them to work out their own feelings, 4. Time and energy (taking the time for yourself), 5. Spiritual boundaries (what and how you connect to a spiritual source)
How do you know if you are having boundary issues?
When you do not advocate for yourself...boundary issue.
If you are always saying yes when you need to say no...boundary issue.
When you are constantly feeling used or unappreciated (that is a boundary issue with you, not other people. Own and workout your own feelings)...boundary issue.
When you are always pointing the finger at others, but do not take the responsibility for yourself - boundary issue.
When you are always doing for others, and you are negatively impacted by it......boundary issue.
Never making time for yourself - boundary issue.
Spend time to recognize your boundary issues so that you can begin to establish and repair boundaries.
Part 2: How to establish and repair boundaries…..I will share at a later time.